Unanswered Prayers

When I was a teenager I remember a conversation I had with my mom....I don't remember now what started it but I remember telling her that I wished I knew who I was going to marry, I was curious and anxious to know the answer. And my mom's sage advice was to pray. "If your worried about it pray to God to look over your future husband." Notice she said to "look over" but of course I heard, "send him your wish list." And I did...I don't remember the exact words I used but I'm sure I had a long list of who or what I wanted my husband to be...tall, handsome, a Christian, romantic...you know the typical things a young girl would ask for.

As a Senior in High School I was reacquainted with a guy who I had known through church. He was leaving for the Army, he was scared and needed/wanted to have someone at home waiting for him. I was struggling in my owns ways and wanted someone to hold onto as well. He wrote me letters while a boot camp and said all the things I wanted to hear. He was eventually stationed in Monterrey and for my 18th birthday instead of going to my Senior Prom I drove all the way out there to spend the weekend with him, and he proposed. I said yes and was excited to finished high school. I left high school and started college. I left the fast food job I'd had all through HS and started at CompUSA. I left my HS friends and tried to find new ones. I was starting over and thought I knew where I was going. Less then a year later he called and broke off our engagement. He had met someone else who was also in the Army. I was devastated. I thought God had answered my prayers, he was everything I had wished/prayed for. But I was wrong!

I was working at CompUSA for a few months when the Software Manager, Jesse, introduced 2 new guys who would be working the sales floor, Jose & Eric. I do NOT believe in love at first sight BUT I knew the instant I saw Eric that I wanted to get to know him. It took awhile to get there...I was dating someone, he was interested in someone else...so we started as friends....and eventually became more. There has been so much to our story, but for today's blog's purposes I'm just gonna skip forward....in a few weeks it will be our 13 year anniversary. The man I love is not exactly who I asked God for...Tall? well he is taller then me :) Handsome? heck ya! Christian? yes. Romantic? lol, not in this lifetime BUT he is also so much more then I would ever have known to ask God for when I was 15. He is loyal, wise, funny, smart, kind, active, and more. I've always said that if Eric & I hadn't become "more" he'd probably still be my best friend.

So I have on more then one occasion thanked God for NOT answering my prayers. He sent me the Army guy to teach me a lesson about love. Love is not romance, its not pretty words, and its not wishful thinking. I needed to let go of all my romance novel dreams.

Eric & I were 19 when we moved out of our childhood homes and began a life together. In that time I've learned what true love REALLY is. Its both of you working full time AND going to school full time to make our dreams come true. Its supporting each other as those dreams became reality. Its your first real job, my first real job, our first home, our first child, our second home, our second child, learning to live on one income and everything else. Romance may be nice but I'd rather have a man who makes me laugh and works hard.

I think the chorus from Garth Brook's song Unanswered Prayers says it best...

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers