Tuesday are my favorite day of the week...it hasn't always been that way but now that the new school year has started it sure is. On Tuesdays my oldest has school until 2:45pm and then directly after school, she goes to her dance team practice which goes until 3:45pm (it's on the school's campus so I don't have to pick her up and transport her, she is already there). My littleone is in full day preschool which means she can be in school as late as 4:30pm. Basically from 8:30-3:30pm I am FREE!!!!! 7 hours all to myself FOR myself. I am not committed to anything or anyone on Tuesdays! Since the little one didn't start school until September I've only had 4 to myself so far, and actually yesterday she was sick and I kept her home from school, so really its only been 3. But I like knowing there are many more Tuesdays to come. So far I've used my Tuesdays to get a massage, clean my study, and shop by myself. Yeah Tuesdays rock!
OK, I really, really do love having Tuesdays to myself BUT I also feel really, really guilty about it too. I hate that I feel guilty and I am trying my darnedest to erase the guilt but its there nagging at me. Why do I feel guilty you may ask...because I am a mom, a stay-at-home mom and we are conditioned to believe that we are supposed to put family before ourselves, that's what all the "good" moms do, put everyone else's needs before their own. SO I should keep my little one home and save the preschool tuition or I should only have her in half day. Or I should be working on Tuesdays to earn some money and help with the families finances. It also makes me feel spoiled and not in the good way like spoiled rotten kind of thing, when I tell other mom's about my Tuesdays I feel like I have to explain/justify why I have a whole day to myself. I know there are mom's who would kill for 5 min. to themselves or even the opportunity to just grocery shop by themselves. So yes I feel bad becasue I can have a day to myself and so many can not.
But here is the thing...my little one loves being at school all day and sometimes when I pick her up at 4pm she doesn't want to come home yet. It only cost $20 more a month for her to have the full days. And when I get a day TO myself FOR myself I am a better mom. I am more calm, more centered, more relaxed. This week she stayed home because she was sick and I've noticed I am more tense and more impatient. I am the type of person who needs some quite solitude in her life and by giving myself Tuesdays I get that. And I need to get over the fact that other mom's can't or don't give themselves a day or a few hours to themselves, it's not my fault. So I am refusing to feel guilty...or at least I am going to continue to ignore the guilt nagging and keep enjoying my time.
1 comment:
Your Tuesdays sound great! I totally get the guilt, but I agree that we're all better moms when we have some time to recharge. I remember an article about mother's rights in Time magazine that said if "the world were perfect" :), mothers would get help, even mothers who work as full-time homemakers. You are a fabulous mother to know how important that is to your family.
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