I'm always filled with doubt about my parenting skills. This last week really made me question myself. My oldest got in trouble for using a cuss word at school, one she of course learned from me (and other adults who sometimes forget little ears are around). She got into extra big trouble for this because her teacher talked to her about it on Monday but my daughter didn't mention it to me at all and I had to hear about it from her teacher on Wednesday. And how she used to the word wasn't great either...so 3 strikes there, cussed, didn't tell mommy herself, used it in an ugly way...so 3 days grounding! ugh! Then on day one of grounding she managed to figure out how to sneakily watch TV from her room, she got caught and so another day got tacked on. The she was supposed to go to school and apologize to her teacher and the friends that heard her cuss...after school I asked her if she did and she said yes but upon further conversation found she was lying and had "forgotten" to do it...lying gets her another day in her room! ugh x5!!
These are not typical behaviors for my child but they are behaviors all kids try out at some point. What I knew was important was what we did next. So she had to write apology notes to her friends and teacher. I then had to write notes to their parents so they would know why they were getting the letter from her and added my own apology as well....she learned the word here at home and then reused it and I had to take responsibility for that. Both mom's really appreciated that I would make her write the letters and that I wrote to them as well. I also wrote my daughter an apology for using cuss words around her. I'm hoping she learns about personal responsibility from all this, one by doing it herself and two by seeing me be an example of that as well.
This morning at breakfast she said something rather profound for a 6 year old...she said "So mom, if i have to hide something it will probably get me in trouble huh" YES, i said, that's an excellent observation "So that's how I'll know, if i have to hide something , I'll know oops that's gonna get me in trouble"..... this is a lesson EVERYONE could use....if you have to hide your drinking, your shopping, your eating, your whatever then its probably gonna get you in trouble. If that's the only lesson she learns from all this it will be well worth that not so much fun we'll have over the course of 5 days of grounding!!!!
1 comment:
wowza! What a tough situation! Sounds like you did great and that Katie's catching on! XOXO
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